For a lame week, it was pretty swift.
In order to have at least one foolproof, though built on bullshit reason to save money, I promised myself to not spend any coin i find with any weird markings, stains, defects or deformities. One particular quarter was more art than eyesore. Someone or something had colored one side, which had a tree on it, with some beautiful fucking purple red color. The ridges where the branches were raised were untouched by the coloring, or maybe just faded by the time it reached my fucking pocket. So it was purple red in the crevices with the coin’s silver branches breaking through. I brought it to work a couple months ago and showed it to my boss who’s also my buddy. “It’s beautiful” she screeched. Did she screech? Unimportant. Important; she said “i’m keeping it” and took my fucking beautiful quarter that I already superstitiously ascribed some magic power. I didn’t know what to do. Should I beat her up? I should’ve tickled her…to death. But that would’ve been unprofessional, and so would’ve my boner.
I said “aight, keep it, i’ll make a deal. I’ll make you a piece of art and next month you’ll give me back the quarter”. She was bout it bout it. It was slightly triple-fold, this deal. One, an excuse to be productive & stick to something; two, a way to get my magic quarter back; three, a subconscious attempt to give her a reason to make her slightly more attracted to me. Not too attracted since she has one of those boyfriend things, but enough brownies that if ever….i would have a decent place on her list of decent dicks. conniving as fuck. Anyway, two and a half months later, her art is still unmade and the adorable slacker-promise-where’s my art-tug of war has lost its cuteness. I could tell she barely respects me and i feel like shit. I am shit. So I finally get into it, even then still waiting until the final hours of task free days to add a stitch or touch to the piece. I’m easily and immediately pulled back to my unfinished college days and habits and it hurts to see that I haven’t grown an iota. I haven’t really had similar deadlines, challenges and assignments since those days to highlight how fucked in the head I am as a responsible human being. So the feeling was jarring, unnerving.
And just like those assignments I did a mediocre job on the piece. It was impossible to hide the disappointment on her end and I’ll never blame her. It looked like shit, it was shit. Fortunately in the end it was pretty much openly and silently understood that it was shit and that I would do it over, good and proper. It’s sitting in my room under barely a speck of tomorrows, i promise. I hope she doesn’t spend my quarter. It is magical, metaphysical for the more scientific minded amongst us. Look at the bit of truth and movement it’s led me to. Now drink horse, drink!